Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The cow and bull of it


Many of us came to know with a mild jolt yesterday that scientists at Gujarat's Junagadh 
Agricultural University (JAU) claim to have discovered gold in cow urine.

How much ? 10 mg of gold per liter ! They spent four years to come up with this golden information. What I want to lay out here is the sheer economy of cow urine and at the same time point an accusing finger at all of us for letting go of an opportunity to raise 600 billion dollars annually. Read on........

The average cow produces upto 13 litres of urine a day. (https://fergusonfoundation.org/lessons/cow_in_out/cowmoreinfo.shtml) which stinkfully works out to 130 mg of gold a day. 

For all the ridicule the science mythyction is bringing us, imagine this, there are about 300 million cows in India (http://beef2live.com/story-world-cattle-inventory-ranking-countries-0-106905) why the fuck did we waste Fourteen million one hundred and seventy five kilos of gold in the past one year ?As per the findings of the elite uro-gold experts, the much profitable animal has the capability to provide around 47 grams of gold in a year. Works out to ₹ 134,283 or $ 1981. 

If only these geniuses came up with this shit a while earlier, the Indian gold coffers would have been shining with the Glitter of gold and the slightly ammonia tinged smell of 'Gau muthra' to the tune of about FORTY TRILLION NINE HUNDRED AND SIXTY SIX BILLION THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THREE MILLION RUPEES our country wasted in just one year ? You want to read it again in dollars ? Here goes - $ 602,711,000,000 only. That's what we ignoramuses wasted last one year. Which is roughly 30% of the country's GDP by the latest count. (http://www.tradingeconomics.com/india/gdp


p.s. I am going to quit my job and buy 10 cows.

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